Couple Counseling for One

Couple Counseling and Marriage Counseling Without a Partner Present

“My partner won’t come in for counseling.”
“I need to work on my anger issues.”
“I just can’t seem to keep a relationship.”
“I can’t decide if this is the right relationship for me.”
“My partner just told me about an affair and I’m not sure if I want to stay or go.”

Sometimes people are seeking help with relationship issues but prefer or need to come in alone. While individual counseling doesn’t give you a chance to talk directly with your partner about change, it does give you a chance to reflect on how you are feeling. It also gives you space and time to think about whether you are being the partner you want to be, and whether you can make your relationship better by changing how you interact with your partner. In other words it gives you space to think about whether you want to change yourself.

That’s kind of annoying, right? Most of us would prefer to talk about how our partner needs to change. We’d like some advice about how to get him to pick up his socks, or to get her to like our friends. We’d like to have someone evalute whether we should stay in the relationship or leave it based on what is happening right now. What we don’t want is to have someone tell us that we might need to change. We don’t want to feel like we are to blame (or like everything is our fault).

Well, guess what, it isn’t all your fault! You probably do have real problems between you that need to be addressed. But at the same time a very effective way to change your relationship is to change yourself. That is why coming in alone (couple counseling for one) can be a successful strategy.

There are some drawbacks. Here’s what you don’t get:

• Immediate feedback from your partner to find out what he or she is thinking
• His or her side of the issue
• A chance for your partner to choose some particular things to work on him or herself
• A chance for the counselor to meet your partner to help you keep a balanced perspective

Here’s what you do get:

• More time to process your feelings
• A chance to honestly evaluate what you are doing in the relationship without having to feel defensive
• Space to weight the pros and cons of certain actions
• An outside perspective from someone who works with lots of couples around lots of issues

One way or the other it’s time to make a change, isn’t it? Call 952-929-9929 today and set up a free consultation.