Anxiety Tips and Tools
Anxiety affects people in multiple ways. It can cause migraines or muscle tension or stomach problems. It can cause insomnia as you toss and turn with worrisome thoughts that won’t stop. During the day, anxiety can keep you from enjoying the present moment. Anxiety that is more severe can get in the way of your day to day functioning so that you can’t take care of your home or work responsibilities.
Think of Anxiety like a Bully…
Think of anxiety as if it is a bully. Anxiety bosses you around by telling you that you should try to solve tomorrow’s problems today. Anxiety lies to you. It tells you that you that even if you don’t have a problem right now, you will be better off by trying to anticipate possible future problems.
It can be tricky to detect anxiety at first, because sometimes thinking about a concern does help prevent a big problem in the future. Especially if you’ve caught small problems in the past before they became big ones, you have learned that watching for potential problems sometimes pays off. The challenge is to discern when this kind of thinking is useful problem solving and when it crosses the line into something else.
What works with anxiety?
If you have battled with anxiety, you may have tried to reason with yourself – to tell yourself all the reasons why this worrying isn’t logical. You may have told yourself to quit worrying. But, telling yourself to quit worrying isn’t very effective. Often, the worrying increases and in addition to worrying, you feel bad about your inability to stop the worry. It can become a discouraging cycle of worry and self-condemnation.
It might seem counter-intuitive, but instead of of trying to avoid and ignore the anxiety, try leaning into it. Face it head on, like you would face down a bully. Call its bluff and it will often back down. Just like with a real bully, you may want to seek support when you do this. Asking a trusted friend or therapist to help you face down anxiety can be really helpful.
One method you can use to face down anxiety is to actively think about something neutral. Instead of telling yourself to quit worrying, try the 3-2-1 game. Speak out loud (or quietly to yourself) 3 things that you can see around you. Then identify 3 things that you can hear, followed by 3 things that you can feel your body touching. After this, start over, but this time choose 2 new things in each category. And finally, say one new thing each that you can see, hear and feel. Why does this help? Because it’s hard to worry at the same time you are focusing on details around you! Each time you practice, you are building the new habit of paying attention to what is going on right now instead of focusing on worries and the “what-if” scenarios. The more you practice this new habit, the more effective it will be. Be patient. Like any new habit you are practicing, it takes time to see consistent results.
You can also begin to notice when anxiety is starting to build in order to interrupt the anxiety spiral before it gets out of control. Just like you would care for a crying baby by comforting it at the beginning of its distress, you want to be a “good parent” to yourself and care for yourself when the anxiety is beginning to build. Pay attention to what happens to you when anxiety is building. When you notice these sensations, thoughts or emotions, take that as a message that you need a break. Be kind to yourself. This would be a great time to practice the 3-2-1 game. You could also go for a walk, call a friend, or do something else that you enjoy and find calming.
Getting extra support
I would be happy to meet with people to discuss managing anxiety and learning new ways to increase happiness and contentment. I can be reached by phone (calls only) at 952-806-0017 or email at Julie@rekindlethespark.com. Please also check our resources page at https://rekindlethespark.com/resources/stress-relaxation/ .
–Julie Krogstad, Graduate Student Intern, Rekindle Counseling, Edina, MN