Is anxiety affecting your relationship?
Everyone faces anxiety at times–that nagging feeling that something awful is about to happen. Anxiety is our body’s way of alerting our conscious mind to a potential threat in our path. Our brain initiates a chemical response to things we are perceiving: sight, smell, taste, a familiar situation, or an imagined chain of events. We feel that chemical response in our stomach as the “jitters,” in our chest and neck as a raised heartbeat or a flush, or even in our hands and feet as a cold chill. Our body says, “danger!” We alert and look around us to figure out what has alarmed us.
Read More»Got an Autocorrect Problem?
Has your relationship got an autocorrect problem?
A few days ago I engaged in a conversation that I frequently have with couples. They were discussing a recent argument, and one of them said with frustration: “I told her I was sorry, but she can never accept that.” The partner in question replied, “You were just trying to end the argument.”
Years ago I would have gone on a fact-finding mission with this couple. I would have tried to figure out who was right: was he just trying to get out of it, or was she resistant to making up? Nowadays I see something else going on—and it reminds me of the autocorrect on my phone.
Read More»Learning Empathy
A common complaint among couples who come for help is that their partner is not very empathetic. “Why can’t he see when I’m upset?” “I’m completely overwhelmed by managing our bills, and she doesn’t care.” Sometimes it seems like we are wearing our emotions on our sleeves, but those emotions aren’t obvious to our partners. We feel like we are screaming, “help me!” and the response we get is as if nothing was wrong.
Read More»Women, Men, and Stress
- At May 13, 2015
- By Jennifer Stoos
- In Brain Science, Fighting, Uncategorized
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Do women and men experience and deal with stress differently? Popular opinions range from the “no differences” proposition to the “different planets altogether” idea. But what does the current science suggest about how men and women react under stress? Many studies point toward the idea that our hormones affect our physical and mental experience of stress, and influence how we interact with others when we are under stress. Here are a few studies that might be of interest.
Diet and Depression
Are diet and depression related? Almost everyone has foods they associate with comfort, and some people notice how different meals affect their levels of energy or alertness. But did you know that if you are struggling with depression, you may want to see a nutritionist and consider changing your diet?
Read More»Marital Stress Can Lead to Depression
- At April 26, 2015
- By Jennifer Stoos
- In Depression, Mood
- 0
Does depression lead to marital stress, or does marital stress lead to depression? Turns out either equation may be true. Certainly when one member of a couple is depressed, their state of mind will affect their partner. But did you realize that the stress a couple experiences can have effects on the ability to experience positive feelings, and can create symptoms of depression?
Read More»IBS and Clinical Hypnosis
- At January 22, 2014
- By Jennifer Stoos
- In Mood, Take Care of Yourself
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Many people don’t realize that clinical hypnosis is a well-tested approach to IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) symptom reduction. Dr. O. Palsson (University of NC at Chapel Hill) created a clinical protocol for working with IBS that consists of eight sessions over sixteen weeks. Long-term studies suggest that it is helpful for 4 out of 5 people with IBS. You may be a good candidate if you have been diagnosed with IBS, have pursued treatment without getting the results you seek, and you are open to pursuing a mind-body way of approaching increasing your comfort. Contact us for more information about pursing clinical hypnosis for IBS at Rekindle Counseling.
Look for the Beauty
- At September 06, 2013
- By Jennifer Stoos
- In Uncategorized
- 0
109 year old Holocaust survivor Alice Somer Herz has wisdom that couples could use. After all that she experienced she notes that she sees the difficult parts of life, but looks for what is beautiful–and finds beauty all around. We often let our stress rebound on the people closest to us, and we forget to look for what is beautiful about them (and tell them what we see). Take a few minutes today to look for the beauty in your partner. Remember, you chose your partner for a reason!
Should You Follow Your Ex on Facebook?
Should you follow your ex on Facebook? You already know the answer, right? But in case there is any doubt a new study by Tara C. Marshall might help you do the thing you need to do to move on. The study suggest that having continuing online exposure to your ex keeps the wound open, making it harder for you to begin to heal and create new relationships. For most of us the issue isn’t knowing what we should do–it is finding a way to do it. The urge to look and re-ignite those painful feelings is often quite strong. If you are caught in a cycle of checking an ex’s Facebook page and would like to break free consider the following ideas
Read More»Rekindle Counseling in the News
- At August 03, 2012
- By Jennifer Stoos
- In Uncategorized
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Our own Holly Birkeland appeared in the Star Tribune recently talking about strengthening relationships. Read the article online at the Star Tribune.